


Scratching an Itch

by Fides



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Flash Fic, Humour, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Multi, mmom, mmom 2009, mmom 2009: day 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-03
Updated: 2009-05-03
Packaged: 2017-10-03 02:18:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fides/pseuds/Fides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily intervenes when Remus and Sirius have an argument.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scratching an Itch

"Remus, you have got to do something about Sirius!"

"Good afternoon to you too, Lily."

"I'm serious. He's being impossible."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"I can't - not when he's like this."

"What do you want me to do - he's not my pet."

"No - he's your boyfriend. Look, I have no problem with you putting Sirius in the doghouse - I'm sure he deserved it."

"He did."

"It can't have been that bad - the house is still standing."

...

"So whatever he did isn't funny yet."

"Not yet - no. Why do you care Lils?"

"He keeps staring at me."

"And"

"He looks so sad."

"I can't believe you are letting the puppy-dog eyes get to you. Come on, Lil, you've never fallen for that before."

"He's sorry."

"He's sulking."

"Alright! Alright! Don't forgive him - but for Merlin's sake let him back in your room."

"He knows what he has to do."

"Can't you just let him back in anyway."

"Do I interfere when you are having an argument with James."

"No. But this is different."

"Yes - this time it's my boyfriend being an arse."

"Your boyfriend has a very nice arse - which is one of the reasons you are going to forgive him eventually. Do you really need to torture the rest of us by drawing it out."

"Lily!?!"

"What? The whole school saw his arse that time he streaked the Quiddich pitch in fourth year. And fifth year. And..."

"Lily..."

"And last week when he forgot I was in and wandered out of your room naked. And I'm not asking about that love bite he had on his..."

"Lily!"

"So are you going to forgive him? Because I can keep talking until you do."

"You are an evil woman. Why is this so important to you?"

"Because."

"Talk all you want - I want to hear why first."

"He won't turn back until you have stopped being angry with him."

"And - we already charmed the furniture to resist dog hair."

"It's not the hair."

"So why?"

"..."

"Could you repeat that?"

"He keeps humping the damn furniture!"

...

"Stop laughing. It's unhygienic."

"Oh Merlin! I'm sorry Lily. I'll have a word with him - make him stop."

"You'll forgive him?"

"No - I'll tell him if he doesn't I'll take him along to the vets and have him fixed. And that I accidentally spilt itching powder on sofa."

"Will that work?"

"It will after I cast a can't-scratch-me charm on the three piece suite."

"Remus?"

"Yes?"

"What did he actually do..?"


End file.
